Ice is like . . . my mortal enemy. It is the Joker to my Batman, the Voldemort to my Harry Potter, the Nancy Kerrigan to my Tonya Harding. We just don’t get along, k? And as much as I adore this part of the year, the colder weather, the lack of sun, the snow! I hate the effing ice. Is it just me? Does everyone else in the entire world have traction that I don’t? Because there is no slab of concrete on this campus that isn’t covered in deadly ice, but people walk on like it was the middle of June. But there I am, taking my infinitesimal steps, trying not to fall.Fuck you, ice. Fuck. You.

Ok, I hate a lot of things. I hate a lot of things and people for no reason. Kelly Clarkson, CSI, Dancing with the Stars, Plain White T’s. There isn’t really a rhyme or reason. Generally, I tend to buck the trend, but I can’t even say that because I effing love Grey’s. But Twilight. Oh, hells no. I haven’t read the (entire) book, I don’t intend to, don’t even want to see the movie (and I love movies). I just have this inexplicable, raging, passionate hate for Twilight. And I’m not going to lie to you, if you’ve read Twilight, chances are I’m making fun of you behind your back. I mean, there’s already a fairly good chance that I’m making fun of you behind your back as it is, but by reading Twilight, you’ve upped the chances of that happening ninefold. Really.

I mean, I get it. I know people (and by people I mean sixteen year-old semi emo’s and lonely cat ladies all around the world) get geeked when it comes to vampires. But really? From what painful pages I have read, I can’t belive that this shit is becoming a ‘national sensation.’ Further evidence that this nation is barreling towards the bottom.

Ugh. Anyway, here’s a fun collection of links.

Ha, Ha, The Twilight Movie Sucks [Gawker]
Twilight **1/2 [Roger Ebert]
‘Twilight’ Sucks . . . And Not In a Good Way [PSA]
Twilight Sucks [deviantART]